Skip to main content

Posts

Manifesting the Stories in My Mind

Recent posts

The world moves on, but we don’t.

The world moves on, but we don’t. Our hearts still ache—some days more than others. People say it gets easier, but it hasn’t. Instead, each day seems to pull us deeper into the reality that he’s gone, that he’s not just “away.” There’s no moment when you suddenly hear that laugh you loved so much or enjoy those jokes he always seemed to have that would brighten your day. Our little boys can’t run to their papa for one of those bear hugs only he could give, hugs that made them feel like the safest place in the world was right there in his arms. For my husband, he wasn’t just a dad—he was a friend. He was there to ease the tension between hard moments, but he was also the one good for a laugh and a stupid joke when you needed it most. My husband doesn’t get to call him anymore, can’t share his victories or complain to him after the annoying days at work. He was always there with a listening ear, sometimes wisdom, but often with just the right amount of nonsense to lift the weight off you

Finding Solace in the Pages

 "If you asked me why I read so much, I'd say it's because I simply enjoy it. But on a deeper level, I'd tell you that a book never takes from me; it only gives. As a full-time mom and wife, I'm always pouring into others, constantly giving more to everyone and everything around me. But when I read, I can simply be. It’s a rare and precious kind of peace, the kind I desperately need in my life right now."  In the crazy of daily life, it can be easy to lose ourselves in the demands of being a full-time mom and wife. We give so much of ourselves to others that sometimes it feels like there's little left for us. But amidst the chaos, I've found a refuge—a place where I can simply be . That place is within the pages of a book. On the surface, I read because I simply enjoy it. There’s something magical about getting lost in a story, exploring new worlds, and meeting characters who feel like old friends. But if I dig deeper, there’s more to it than just enjo

Embracing the Dream

As I sit down to write, the sound of my children's laughter echoes from the doorway, filling our home with warmth and joy. Being a stay-at-home mom isn't just something I stumbled into—it's been my dream for as long as I can remember. Today, I want to share a glimpse into my world, a world where I'm living out a lifelong dream with all its highs, lows, and everything in between. From the moment I first held my baby in my arms, I knew that I was stepping into the life I had always longed for. While others might have dreamed of becoming doctors or dancers, my heart was set on one thing: motherhood. Each smile, each milestone my children reach, fills me with a sense of purpose and fulfillment I never knew was possible. Being a stay-at-home mom isn't about giving up a career; it's about embracing my true calling. I have the privilege of shaping and nurturing my children’s lives, of witnessing their growth and discoveries firsthand. In a world that often measures suc

You are not alone

There's been an unknown heaviness on my heart these past couple days I've struggled with and all it took was a simple kind gesture of a friend to gift me a beautiful cookie as a reminder of the baby I lost in pregnancy, not once but twice. It struck me in that moment just what I've been struggling with all week.  I'm not even sure my friend knew exactly what this would have meant to me, that the timing of her gift would hit me so hard, but I spent the next 30 minutes bawling alone in my car. I'm sitting here this morning sharing this cookie with my boys, remembering the babies I've lost, thinking of the newborn I would be holding in my arms this very moment if God had planned it otherwise.  I think it's particularly hard this week because exactly a year ago today I sat by this same old fireplace on a Monday morning watching my two year old and three year old run around playing and screaming, asking myself if this was really possible, could I be pregnant agai

Crisp Autumn Leaves

Autumn is my favorite season. The chill in the air, the crunch of leaves, the vibrant change in colors. Today there was running, smiling and laughing. Jumping, falling and getting back up. This is what we all needed.  My little sister, who's my closest friend, joined me and the boys on the spur of the moment park day and it was a blast. We went to Rock Springs to enjoy what Jeremiah calls, the tall green park! It’s one of my favorite places to be, it’s quiet there and peaceful which is what we need in life right now.  This was the first time that I actually went to the playground itself, usually I’d walk the path through the woods. It’s also my mom's favorite walking place, no surprise there, I am my mothers daughter.  But so the three of them ran around on the playground and yes I said three of them. Josiah, my youngest, insisted Rachel go up with him to help get to the third level. That little boy has everyone wrapped around his little finger and knows how to get what he want

Pumpkin Patch

A chilly, gloomy day turned out to be a perfect day for the pumpkin patch though the pumpkin patch itself was not so perfect. But we enjoyed our walk through the Christmas trees after realizing the pumpkins were all nearly rotten and smashed out in the field. But the funny thing is, that didn't matter because this is still one of my best memories with some of my favorite people.  This happened in the midst of Covid-19 and we didn't let that stop us from doing the things we wanted to. The boys had so much fun with their mama and aunty out in the muddy field and riding around on a tracker. Though in most of the pictures Jeremiah's face would have you thinking otherwise, I promise it's true. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and at the end of the trip the boys found two small pumpkins inside the shop to take home and paint.   I am blessed with this family and never want to take it for granted. My boys are beyond luck to have someone who loves them as much as their mama and a